


Second Time Around

by bandedbulbussnarfblat



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, Time Travel, but also set during season 3, except 15x20 never happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:48:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27869457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bandedbulbussnarfblat/pseuds/bandedbulbussnarfblat
Summary: Sam and Dean try a spell to save Cas from the Empty that sends him back to 2007, where he meets Dean who only has a year left to live before his demon deal is up.  Now Cas has to help the Winchesters find a way to save Dean, while falling in love with him all over. But this time, he doesn't just stay quiet and pine, he acts on his feelings much sooner...
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 47
Kudos: 211





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This idea popped in my head and would not leave, so I had to relent and write it. It's going to roughly follow season 3, but with some changes since Cas is there.

Something goes wrong with the spell.

That's the only explanation Cas can think of to explain why he's in 2007 instead of 2020. It's an entire year before he even met the Winchesters, a year before he's supposed to pull Dean's soul from Hell. He doesn't know where to begin looking for them, though he supposes Bobby is a start.

He feels tired. His vessel has aged since he first took it—it no longer feels like a vessel now, without Jimmy, it simply feels like his body—but it's older. Older by far than the Winchesters will be. Vessels technically don't have to age, angels can stop the aging anytime, but most didn't to better blend in with the humans around them.

The tiredness comes from a place of weariness, an emotional exhaustion rather than a physical one. Physically, he feels more powerful than he has in years. Of course, heaven was stronger in this time than the his own. He's probably the closest to his full power as he's been since he met Sam and Dean.

He goes to Bobby first and explains his story. Naturally, Bobby doesn't believe him. Cas expected this, but there's nothing Bobby can do to hold him. Guns don't hurt him, holy water doesn't phase him, a devil's trap won't hold him. He asks for Sam and Dean. Eventually he lets Bobby bind him with rope and leave him tied to a chair. He could easily break free, but he allows Bobby the illusion of control.

He can hear Bobby on the phone talking to Sam, and soon, Dean's voice joins as well. It tugs on his heart to hear Dean's voice again, even if this Dean isn't his Dean, not yet. Not that Dean has ever been his. Not the way he wants.

The first time he met Dean, Dean tried to stab him. This time he only looks at him with hard eyes and asks “Who are you?”

“Castiel.”

The ropes binding him to the chair in Bobby's kitchen are becoming itchy. He hopes he can reason with Sam and Dean soon so he can remove them.

“I got that. I mean, what are you.”

“I'm an angel.”

Dean looks at him blankly. “An angel? Like wings, halo and a harp?”

“I don't have a harp.”

“You're an angel, an actual angel?” Sam says, and he looks intrigued. But of course, Dean is meant to go to Hell in a year and Sam is desperate to stop it. He'd want to see Castiel as an ally.

“Yes, like I've said I'm from your future,” Cas says. “I was trapped in the Empty and a spell you used to save me sent me here. I'm not sure what went wrong.”

“Don't tell me you're buying this,” Dean says, shooting Sam a look.

“If he is an angel, maybe he can help.”

“In a year I'll pull Dean from Hell,” Cas says.

“Yeah, well aren't angels supposed to be the good guys? Why wait to save me from Hell? Why not save me from going?” Dean says, and he looks so young. Cas can remember him this young, when he had so little faith in anything, in himself. He hadn't thought he deserved to be saved.

Cas wants to explain that he had orders at the time and that he was merely following them, but Dean made him doubt. Though he supposes it's too soon for that. So what he says is “Because God is a dick.”

Sam pulls a face. “Did you just-”

Dean snorts. “ _The_ God?”

“Yes.”

“Since when does God give a damn about us?” Dean says.

That's a bit of a loaded question that would take several minutes to answer. Cas decides to keep it simple. “It's complicated.”

It takes another four hours of Sam, Dean, and Bobby periodically asking him questions and attempting different exorcisms on him before they believe he is an angel. Bobby apparently found some lore that mentions them, so they believe angels exist, though they don't know whether to trust him.

It's not ideal, but it's a start.


	2. The Magnificent Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas helps the boys fight some demons. Lust infects Dean and he kisses Cas.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who commented and left kudos. You are all awesome.

They allow Castiel to tag along on the case mostly to keep an eye on him. Sam is the only one that seems excited to see what an angel can do to demons. Isaac and Tamara don't trust him, that's for sure, but Isaac has at least heard of angels interacting with humans, though he's never seen one himself. Cas wonders if mistrust of him is part of the reason they refuse to work with the Winchesters. He hopes not—he's here to help Sam and Dean, not hurt them.

He's in the backseat with Sam while Dean and Bobby argue about their course of action. Bobby wants to wait until they can gather more information. Dean wants to move in now. His death wish is unhealthy, but Cas can understand where it is coming from. It must be terribly stressful to know he's going to hell, the anticipation of it a sickening dread he had to carry. It would almost be easier just to get it over with.

“They're the seven deadly sins,” Cas says, because he knows a thing or two about demons.

Bobby turns to look at him. “You couldn't have said something sooner?”

“I wasn't entirely sure. I didn't want to mislead you.”

Dean looks back, on the verge of saying something then Sam points ahead. “Guys look.”

It's Tamara and Isaac heading into the bar. So much for waiting. When they follow the doors are locked. Dean slams against it futilely and Cas lays a hand on his shoulder, “Allow me.” The door swings open with a thought and the boys look mildly impressed. It causes a flutter of pride in his heart to see it that Cas stamps down.

The scene inside is something out of a horror movie, Issac appears to be drinking bleach with the demons surrounded and laughing. When they see Cas, they immediately panic. “Angel! Angel!”

Pillars of black smoke fly out of the vessels. Cas could rein them back in, but Isaac is dying right in front of his eyes. Tamara is screaming while Sam tries to drag her away. There is a choice to be made, and really, it isn't a choice at all. He has to save Isaac. Cas crosses the distance between them and lays a hand on Isaac's forehead, channeling his power into healing. Isaac opens his eyes, blood still staining his face and looks at him in awe.

Sam is also looking at him in wonder, and his grip on Tamara drops. She's at Isaac's side in a second, cradling his face. “How?”

“I healed him. He'll be fine.”

Cas can feel Dean's eyes on him as well, but he doesn't want to look and see what's there. He isn't prepared for it, whatever it is. “They'll find new vessels soon. We should regroup and be ready for an attack.”

Bobby looks at the people lying on the floor, unconscious now that they're no longer being used as vessels. “What about these poor sonsofbitches?”

Cas maneuvers around to each one, checking if they need to be healed. Most are fine, only suffering from memory loss of the time possessed. He decides it's better they don't remember. “They'll be fine. Confused, but fine.”

Isaac stands and claps a hand on his shoulder. “You saved my life.”

Cas isn't sure what to say. That it was nothing? That seems wrong. “I'm here to help.”

When he sneaks a look toward Dean, Dean almost looks like he believes him.

///

Dean corners him before they leave, catching him alone in the bar while the others file out. "The demons, they were scared of you. You could of ended this all right here. Why didn't you?"

"Isaac was dying. There wasn't time to save him and stop the demons. I chose to save his life."

Dean lets out a noise somewhere between a laugh and a snort. "Since when do angels care about saving lives? I've been working this job my whole damn life, and I ain't never seen one of you step in and help us poor bastards. So why start caring now?"

Cas could say a lot of things here. He could say they weren't meant to intervene. He could say he had his orders and they weren't to help. He goes with the truth. "I didn't care, until you. You made me care, Dean. Because you cared, I cared. You taught me what it means to be human."

It's too much. He knows it's too much as soon as he says it. Dean's not close enough yet to hear these things, not with his fears of intimacy. "Yeah, but you're not human, are you?"

No, he isn't. And for the first time, Cas wonders if that's what he wants.

///

The demons do eventually attack. The hunters are trying to exorcise them rather than kill them, something Cas's own boys haven't bothered to try in years. He likes it, the idea of saving the human that's being possessed so he doesn't bring out his angel blade. He merely helps where he can. Angels don't need Latin to exorcise demons, they can simply evict them. It makes things go a lot smoother.

Sam gets in a spot of trouble with some of the demons, but from what Cas can recall hearing this story, Ruby arrives to save him. Ultimately Ruby will betray the boys, but for now she's useful enough. Cas will have to tell them about her, of course. Still, he can let her handle helping Sam while he goes to check on Dean.

Dean is alone with Lust. She touches him, infecting him just as Cas walks in. He sends her packing easily enough. The woman collapses to the floor and Cas means to check on her to be sure she's still alive, but suddenly Dean is on him. Dean's fists are clenched tight in his trenchcoat, his mouth pressed hot against his. He's kissing him like he needs it to breathe, desperate and needy. He pushes back and Cas lets himself be moved, lets his back hit the wall as Dean kisses him.

He kisses back on instinct, on a desperate desire spent on a decade of yearning. When Dean presses his body closer Cas breaks away from the kiss. His voice is raspy with want when he speaks, “Dean, this isn't you.”

Dean lets him go, takes a step back and turns red. His mouth opens and closes. “That was—I'm not-”

Cas cuts him off gently, “Isaac doesn't normally drink bleach. It was the effect of the demon.”

Dean nods his head jerkily. “Yeah, right.”

Neither of them bring up that Cas kissed him back. Though Cas supposes Dean wouldn't.

Dean shoves his hands in his pockets. “So, uh, let's not mention this to Sammy.”

“Of course, Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think? Like always comments are appreciated. I'd like to hear if you guys think I'm getting Sam and Dean right, I'm trying to stick to their season 3 characterization, so if I seem off let me know.


	3. The Kids Are Alright Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas talks to the boys about Ruby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty short due to some technical difficulties. My computer is adding random 1s to everything I type, so just getting this much done was like pulling teeth. The second half of this will actually have Cas speaking to Ruby with Sam, and we'll get somewhere with the plot. I hate posting something this short, but with my computer on the fritz I don't know how long until the next update will be and I wanted to give y'all something.

They need to talk about Ruby. Cas understands that Dean wants to avoid him, especially after that kiss, but there are things of greater import at stake than his sexuality crisis. Ruby manipulates Sam and turns him into an abomination—if he can prevent that this time around he will. He wants to prevent Sam and Dean all the hurt he can.

“We need to talk.”

Dean flinches minutely, but Sam doesn't notice. They're back at Bobby's now. Cas is quite sure Bobby notices Dean's reaction to the words, but he says nothing. It's Sam who asks about what.

“The woman who saved you. Her name is Ruby. She's a demon.”

“Why would a demon help us?” Sam says, as Dean and Bobby say “What?” at the same time.

Castiel doesn't know how much he can explain without getting into the whole apocalypse of it all. He isn't sure Sam and Dean are ready for that. “To manipulate you. She'll offer a way to help Dean, but she's lying.”

Dean looks at him sharply. “Yeah, thought you were supposed to help with that.”

Castiel feels a rush of irritation; he'd forgotten how surly Dean was at the beginning. “I am. I have a plan, of sorts.”

“You do?” Sam says, and his voice has so much hope. He still sounds so young. He's not had as many failures to drag him down, as many losses. Castiel feels a protectiveness, a need to keep him safe. Dean has always tried so hard to keep Sam safe, and he believed he failed.

“Yes.”

Dean makes a gesture with his hand. “Care to share with the class?”

“We're going to kill Lilith.”

“Whose Lilith?” Sam asks.

“The queen of Hell.”

“Son of a bitch,” Bobby swears.

Dean laughs, and there's an edge to it. “You want us to take on the queen of Hell?”

“She holds all contracts,” Castiel says. “Though I believe your contract is currently in possession of the demon Crowley.”

“So we find this Crowley guy and gank him.”

Castiel frowns. He certainly has no fond feelings for Crowley, but Rowena has proven a useful ally in the future. Killing her son may make a powerful enemy of her. “He works for Lilith. There will retaliation.”

This isn't what he wanted to talk about. He wanted to help Sam avoid falling for Ruby's lies. “Ruby works for Lilith. She's dangerous, but she can be useful. I'd like to talk to her.”

Sam looks confused. “Okay, but I've only seen her once.”

“She'll contact you again soon. When she does, call for me and I'll come.”

Sam, at least, seems willing to trust him, though Castiel believes it's out of desperation. Sam wants to save Dean. He'll have to make an ally out of Sam if he wants to help Dean, as Dean doesn't seem to want to help himself. “There's more at stake here than you know, but this isn't the time to discuss it. I believe you have a hunt coming up. We'll talk once you return.”

“You can talk to me while they're gone,” Bobby says. Castiel nods. Of course, Bobby is protective of the boys. It makes sense. He's a much better father figure than their actual father, though he wouldn't say so out loud to Sam or Dean. Their relationship with John is complicated.

Cas almost wants to go with Sam and Dean, or just go and deal with the problem himself. He knows this is where Dean reunites with Lisa again, where he lights a spark that leads him back to her after Sam's death. It isn't selfish, or not entirely, he knows things won't work out with her and he'd rather spare Dean that pain. It's not his place, however. Besides, if they stop Dean going to Hell and avert the apocalypse, Dean may have a real chance with her. Maybe that's what he wants. It's not what's right for his Dean, but this Dean isn't his Dean yet. Perhaps he can still make things work.

He still hates watching him go.


	4. The Kids Are Alright Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has a dream, Sam and Cas talk to Ruby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, since it's just the back half of the last one. Next one will be full length I promise. I debated on whether to keep or cut Dean's dream here, but ultimately decided to keep it. Given how it SHOULD be the middle of the night when they bring Ben back to Lisa (though the scene was obviously shot during the day) I figured Dean would try to catch some shut eye before he and Sam left. So hopefully it doesn't feel too jarring or out of place.

Prayers to him aren't common, at least not at this time. Later, he'll hear prayers from Dean, and Sam, and Claire. Claire prays for her father, for his return. Sam prays when he needs his assistance. Dean prayers have always been complicated, but Castiel appreciates them the most. Sometimes they aren't even proper prayers, just a sense of longing.

He supposes that's what this is right now. Cas has visited Dean in his dreams before, but never in dreams like this. It starts as a memory, a replay of that kiss Lust had made Dean give him. Except he and Dean aren't in a dilapidated building, they're in the living room and a nice, suburban home. A woman with dark hair and dark eyes is watching them and she slinks over to Dean and guides him away from Castiel. It's Lisa, younger than when Cas last saw her. She kisses Dean as well, wrapping arms around his neck. She pulls back and whispers something in his ear and Dean nods, swallowing thickly.

Then Lisa is sauntering over to the dream version of Castiel and Castiel is pulling her into his arms and kissing her. It's far from romantic, it's filthy and dirty, his tongue fucking her mouth. He turns and slams her against the wall and rakes a hand down her thigh, pulling it up around his hip. He pins her wrists above her head with one hand while the other dips inside her jeans.

Is this what Dean dreams about? He understands a sex dream with Lisa—she is an ex he's just saw again—but why is he there? Why is he with Lisa? Is that what Dean wants? Cas doesn't know; the human subconscious works in strange ways. But the longing is clear, why else would Castiel feel the need to come, like he is being called for? Dean wants him. Perhaps carnally. Maybe he's just not ready to acknowledge that yet.

Or maybe he just likes to watch.

Either way, it is a private dream and not something Dean would want him to see. Castiel leaves before Dean can notice him, feeling confused, but hopeful.

///

Sam prays for Cas to come over before he calls Ruby. He's already spoken to her, but he hadn't called Cas because they were in a public diner. He wasn't sure how Ruby would react to seeing an angel, and he didn't want her smoking out in front of a room of witnesses. Cas understands that, but he wishes Sam called anyway. Ruby has already gotten under his skin. He's asking questions about his mother's friends, asking why they are all dead.

“They're dead. All of them. All my mom's friends, her doctor, her uncle. Everyone who ever knew her systematically wiped off the map one at a time. Someone went through a hell of a lot of trouble trying to cover their tracks. ”

“Azazel,” Cas says, then modifies, “The Yellow-Eyed demon.”

“Why?” Sam demands.

“I'll explain everything once we're with Dean. This concerns him too.” Cas isn't sure where Dean is right now. Sam is alone in the motel room. Cas supposes Dean is out getting food, as the Impala is gone from outside. He feels a bit relieved, after seeing Dean's dream.

Sam looks ready to argue, but he holds back. Instead he just picks up the phone and calls Ruby. Cas doesn't bother listening to what he says to get Ruby over—it doesn't matter, she'll come regardless. She's playing a dangerous game with Sam, but her position does make her somewhat useful. If they can convince her to join them, she'd be a powerful ally. It's unlikely to happen, but Castiel doesn't like the idea of killing her outright. At the very least, she proves useful in the future. It would be beneficial to keep her alive until she hides the occultum, in case they need to use it.

Ruby visibly tenses when she walks in. She tries to maintain a casual air, but Cas can feel the tension coming off her in waves. “Whose this?”

“This is my friend, Castiel, the angel,” Sam says, then “We know what you are.”

“I guess the jig is up,” Ruby says, eyes flashing black. “This sounds like the start to a bad joke, an angel and a demon walk into a motel...”

She's scared, Cas can sense that. Good, she should be. “I know who you serve. I know what you plan.”

Ruby casts her eyes over to Cas. “Here to smite me then?” She looks over to Sam. “You think you can trust him because he's an angel? You think they're better than us? That they care?”

“I care,” Cas says. “Heaven is flawed, yes, but it's your side that sets this into motion.”

“While your side does nothing to stop us,” Ruby shoots back.

Sam looks between them. “What are you talking about?”

Ruby smirks at Cas, “Hm, what are we talking about?”

Cas cuts his eyes over to Sam. He hadn't wanted to tell him this way. “The Apocalypse.”

Sam's eyes go wide. “The what?”

Ruby steps closer to Sam. “Don't listen to him Sam, I'm here because I want to help you. And I can if you trust me.”

“Trust you? You're a demon.”

“Don't be so racist.”

Castiel is getting a headache. “You serve Lilith. You need the Winchesters to break the Seals.”

“What seals?” Sam says.

“I'll explain later.”

Ruby grins. “You gonna let this guy string you along, or do you want answers?”

Sam looks unsure for a second. Castiel understands; he doesn't truly know him yet, but it still stings. His Sam's trust in him would be unwavering. “As soon as we're back with Dean you'll have your answers. To anything you ask. But I do warn you, there are things you may not want to know.”

Sam's eyes dart from Ruby to Castiel. He relaxes minutely. “I trust you.”

Ruby snorts. “Of course you trust the angel.”

Cas narrows his eyes at Ruby. “I could smite you where you stand, but I haven't.”

Something like fear flickers in Ruby's eyes. “And why is that?”

“Because you could be more useful to us alive.” Castiel walks closer to her. “Things won't end well for you. I've seen how they end; with you dead, trapped in the Empty reliving your mistakes forever. I can spare you that future, if you help us now.”

He doesn't trust Ruby for a second. Even if she agrees to help them now, it'll only be to save her own hide. She'll betray them the minute she gets the chance. “Or I could end you now.”

Ruby darts her eyes around like a cornered animal. There's nowhere for her to run, nowhere to escape. Sam has the holy water in his hand and Cas doesn't need to be near her to wreck her. “What do you want?”

“You work for Lilith, we want to destroy her. We could use an inside man.”

Ruby swallows thickly. “No way. She'd kill me if she even suspected.”

There's fear, but under that there's loyalty. That's something Castiel does understand, misguided loyalty. He felt it for so long for Heaven, for God. Then he met Dean and began to question. It makes him feel a sort of sympathy for Ruby—she's a soldier following orders, same as he once was. She developed feelings for a Winchester, same as he once did, but ultimately her loyalty could not be shaken.

“What do you think I'll do to you if you refuse?”

Ruby shakes her head. “You might as well kill me now. It'll be less messy than whatever Lilith does to me.”

Killing her would be simple, and it would solve some problems later. But Cas wants the occultum, he wants her knife, and he knows she was a valuable resource to the boys, even if she was acting out of ulterior motives. “I'll let you live if you can do one thing for us.”

“What?” Ruby says, sounding desperate. Cas knows that as soon as he lets her go, she'll report back to Lilith, tell them everything. Soon Lilith will know they're after her. He finds he doesn't mind. Sam and Dean have defeated God; what is one demon to them, even one as powerful as Lilith?

“Tell us where to find the demon Crowley.”


	5. Bad Day at Black Rock Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas tells Sam and Dean about the Seals and talks to Crowley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another chapter I'm splitting in half, otherwise it'd be pretty long with the added scenes. Also I really wanted to get something out by Christmas, so here this is.

“I can't believe you let her go.”

In Heaven, Cas was a tactician and soldier. He'd like to remind Sam of that, then he remembers this Sam doesn't know. “Yes, likely directly to Lilith.”

“How is that a good thing?”

“We have no clue of Lilith's whereabouts. A simple tracking spell to follow Ruby may lead us to her.”

“Oh, that's pretty smart.”

“I have my moments,” Cas says dryly.

The door opens and Dean walks in, carrying a bag of burgers and fries. He pauses when he sees Cas there. He seems mildly embarrassed. Cas wonders if he's remembering the dream he had last night. “Cas?”

“Hello Dean.”

“Cas has something important to tell us,” Sam says. Dean looks at him and there's some unspoken conversation between them, because he sets the bag down and sits on the bed.

“I'm all ears.”

“The demons want to start the Apocalypse. There are six hundred seals, only sixty-six need to be broken.” It's blunt, but it's best to just get to the point. 

Dean leans forward. “What are these seals?”

“Think of the seals as locks on a door.”

“Okay, last one opens and what?” Dean says.

“Lucifer walks free.”

Sam sucks in a breath. “Lucifer? _The_ Lucifer?”

“Yes. He's been trapped in the cage for a millennia, since his fall from grace. Lilith wants to set him free. Azazel—Yellow Eyes—has been working to free Lucifer. All of it has been to start the Apocalypse. It's why they want Dean in Hell.”

“What do you mean?”

“''And it is written, that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in Hell. As he breaks, so shall it break'.” Cas says. “In Hell, you'll be given a choice to torture or be tortured. Eventually you'll break and the first seal will be broken.”

“I wouldn't-” Dean starts, and he looks guilty, so guilty, for something he hasn't even done. Something he won't do, if Cas has any say in it.

“Time works differently in Hell. You're there over forty years before you break.”

Dean scrubs a hand over his face. “So you're saying it's my fault the world's gonna end?”

“ _No_ ,” Cas says sternly. “Heaven allowed you to be pulled to Hell. They allowed the seals to be broken. This isn't your fault.”

And there is the old bitterness, the old resentment flooding back in. Heaven allowed all this to happen. And for what? Cas feels as disconnected from this Heaven as he ever has, feels less holy than he had ever been. The more time with the Winchesters he spends, the more human he feels. Even before he left, he felt like his grace was slipping. Now if feels back in full power, because Heaven is at full power now. But once Heaven catches word of what he is doing, he's bound to be in trouble. They'll likely try to stop him. Not that it matters; he's fought Heaven and Hell for the Winchesters before, he'll do it again.

“Why, huh? Why'd you guys not step in and save the day?” Dean is angry now, his voice gruff and his eyes blazing.

Cas feels tired, weary down to his bones. “I rebelled against Heaven for you Dean, I don't deserve your anger.”

“What's so special about me?”

Cas wants to tell him, tell him how kind he is, how loving, how brave, how he's the best example of humanity there is. But Sam is sitting on the other bed and Dean wouldn't appreciate an audience. “When I gripped you tight and raised you from perdition, I saw your soul. All of it. You are worth fighting for.”

Dean looks away, coughs. “Right, so ah, about these seals?”

“Killing Lilith is the final seal, but it shouldn't matter if you never break the first one,” Cas says. “In my time, Sam kills Lilith and causes Lucifer to walk free, due to manipulation from Ruby.”

Cas decides not to mention the demon blood and the sexual intimacy between Sam and Ruby. Some things are better left unknown. “The Seals aren't actual seals, they're events that take place. Lilith is the one who breaks the seals, so killing her will prevent the cage from being opened.”

There's more he could tell them. More about them being vessels, about Mary making a deal years ago that sealed their fates. But they don't have to know that yet. There's only so much the human mind can process at one time. Better to leave the rest for later. Sam will want answers to his questions, but if can spare them some pain now, he will. 

“No cage, no apocalypse,” says Dean. “So how do we kill her?”

///

Sam and Dean have to go deal with something involving a storage locker and their father, so Cas makes his way to Crowley's alone. It's fine, he doesn't need Sam and Dean there to do business with Crowley. He's worked with Crowley before, though he doesn't like to remember how he betrayed Sam and Dean. It's all in the past now. His Sam and Dean have long since forgiven him, and he doesn't plan on betraying this Sam and Dean.

Part of him would rather be tracking Ruby to see if she leads to Lilith, but he figures she's smart enough to lay low for a couple days. Bobby is on it if anything pops up.

The mansion Crowley's in is large and ornate. It's surrounded by demons, but those are easily snuffed out. The cameras are more the problem—if Crowley sees an angel coming, he may run rather than stay and chat.

He doesn't run. Cas finds him in an office, or a study, some room with a desk and shelves of books and a thick rug on the hardwood floor. It's spacious and tastefully decorated, the desk some massive mahogany thing with intricate carvings in the wood. Crowley is in the same meatsuit he's used to seeing him in, albeit a few years younger. He pours out a glass of amber liquid—scotch or brandy, Cas can't be sure, the decanter doesn't have a label and signals Cas to sit down. “You make quite an entrance.”

Where there was fear coming off Ruby, there's none of it coming off Crowley. There's interest, yes, and a mild annoyance, the slightest hint of arousal. The last two are easy enough to ignore. “I need to talk to you.”

“You couldn't call?”

“I don't have your number.”

“Would you like it?”

Ah, a flirtation as a distraction. Dean does that too. Cas ignores it as well.

Crowley sighs and makes himself more comfortable in his chair. “Not many angels come calling. What do you want?”

“We need to talk about Lilith.”

“Queen of Hell, fantastic lay, batshit crazy. That about cover it?” Crowley says and tips back his drink. There is something nervous about him now. Not fear of him, Cas thinks, but fear of Lilith.

“I hear you two are lovers. She trusts you,” Cas says. The thought of them as lovers is somewhat disturbing, given Lilith's later penchant for taking little girl vessels. Though he supposes that isn't always the case.

“I'm her right-hand man.” Crowley sounds a bit smug about it.

“Yes, king of the crossroads. You hold all contracts.”

Crowley leans forward and smirks. “Ah, you've gotten sweet on a human. Come to bargain for their soul?”

“Something like that.”

Crowley's eyes sweep over Cas from head to toe. “I'm sure there's something you can do for me to save your pet. Who is it?”

“Dean Winchester.”

Crowley sits back, smile gone. “No can do. That one Lilith wants to handle personally.”

“Do you know why?” It's a gamble asking him. He might lie and say he does rather than admit he's in the dark, or he may know and support Lilith right now.

“Do you?”

Cas almost forgot how annoying dealing with Crowley was. This is going to be frustrating. “She wants to let Lucifer out of his cage. You don't want that. Lucifer is an angel. He doesn't care about demons. You're all disposable to him.”

Crowley eyes him for a moment. “What are you suggesting?”

“Lilith needs Dean to go to Hell to release Lucifer. Destroy his contract and prevent him from walking free.”

“You're overlooking the part where Lilith flays me alive for betraying her, and not in the fun way.”

“Not if she's dead.”

Crowley sits up straighter. “What's in it for me, hypothetically speaking?”

“Without Lilith, there would be a power vacuum. Someone has to rule Hell. It could be you.” That has to appeal to his ambition. Crowley has always been power hungry.

“Now you're just flirting.”

“I'm serious.”

“You are, aren't you?” Crowley says. “Why? What's in all this for you? Heaven doesn't give a damn about what we do.”

Cas turns his head away. He isn't sure how to answer this. “I'm not doing this for Heaven.”

“You don't say.”

“I'm doing it to save Dean Winchester.” And the world. He's also trying to stop the Apocalypse. But if he's honest, saving Dean feels more important than any of that.

There's a mocking smile on Crowley's face. “Well, now I've seen it all. An angel in love with a human.”

“I'm not-” Cas tries to protest, but Crowley cuts him off.

“Save it, Feathers.” He pours another drink and takes a sip, staring at him while he thinks. “Lilith holds all contracts. Perks of being the boss. I give you the Winchester boy and she'll notice.”

Cas has a feeling he knows where this is going. “And when she dies?”

Crowley shrugs. “I am king of the crossroads. The contract will belong to me.”

“So we kill Lilith-”

“And I'll rip up your boy's contract.”

It's nice to know that Dean will be safe after Lilith is dead, but there's still the matter of killing her. The Colt would work, but it isn't working. Ruby would have helped fix it eventually, but he's probably scared her off now. “I have something that may be able to kill her, but it's broken.”

“I know of someone very eager to get out of their contract who specializes in occult items. I can arrange for her to take a look.”

Cas squints at him. “I thought Lilith held all contracts.”

“Technically, but I manage them. This one she won't miss.”

“Who is she?” Cas says.

“Goes by the name Bela Talbot.”

Before Castiel can reply, he hears something, like a voice ringing in his ears. _Cas, help. In trouble. Cas. Please hear me, I need your help._ It's Sam's voice and he sounds urgent. He stands. “Excuse me.”

He focuses his powers and hones in on Sam and flies away. He only hopes he isn't too late. 


	6. Bad Day at Black Rock Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas saves Sam and meets Bela, he and Dean have a talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter got finished before I thought it would, since I decided to move some scenes to the next chapter. And now we get a chapter on Christmas. Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it, I hope to have the next chapter up by New Year's Eve

Sam is duck taped to a chair when Cas finds him.

It's another in a string of near identical motel rooms that Sam and Dean frequent. Though this one seems to have recently been on fire, fron the lingering smell in the air. Sam isn't alone, two other men, hunters from the looks of it are with him, one speaking “...but as it turns out, I'm on a mission from God.”

“I assure you you're not,” Cas says. He walks closer to the hunters and touches the one furthest from Sam on the forehead and he collapses to the floor.

The other man has already geared back to slap Sam and it goes through before Cas can wonder over to him and touch a hand to him. He falls at Sam's feet and Sam blinks up at him. “You couldn't have done that before he hit me?”

“A thank you would be nice,” Cas says as he rips the duck tape holding Sam in half. “How did they manage to tape you to a chair?”

Sam nearly blushes. “It's a long story.”

“I have time.”

He explains about the rabbit foot, and how his luck has turned from good to bad. “Dean's gone to get it back from Bela.”

“Bela Talbot?”

“I think so, yeah. Why?”

Cas sits on the bed and rubs his face. “I spoke to the demon Crowley. He'll release Dean from his contract once we kill Lilith.”

“What does that have to do with Bela?”

“He's going to let her out of her contract if she fixes the Colt for us.” They were making a wonderful first impression on each other. Bela stole from then, Dean was likely threatening her to get the rabbit foot back. Working together isn't looking to be something pleasant. On the positive side, Bela will mostly be working with Bobby to fix the Colt.

“She can do that?” Sam asks.

“Apparently she's an expert on occult items.” As he speaks, Castiel can feel Dean's presence drawing near.

The door opens and Dean steps in with his gun at the ready. He sees Cas and sees the two hunters on the ground. “They dead?”

“Merely sleeping deeply.”

Dean gives Sam a quick once over with his eyes and seems satisfied he isn't hurt. “What happened?”

“Friends of Gordon.”

Dean swears under his breath. “That asshole again?”

“We can deal with him later, we gotta destroy the rabbit's foot.”

Cas stands. “While you handle that, I'll speak to Bela Talbot. Where is she?”

Dean pulls a confused expression and Sam says quickly, “I'll explain in the car.”

Dean grins, “Oh, I'm sure she'll find us.”

///

Bela does, in fact, find them.

“Say goodbye, rascally rabbit.”

The sound of a gun cocking fills the air of the cemetery. Dean turns around and Bela is standing with her gun drawn. “I think you'll find that belongs to me. Or you know, whatever.”

Both boys look at her, unsure of what to do. Cas considers trying to reason with her, but humans can be most unreasonable when it comes to money. Putting her to sleep is an option, but that hardly seems the way to start a business relationship. He still has telekinesis at this power level; he could just knock the gun from her hand, but there's the risk she'll pull the trigger.

“Put down the foot, honey.”

“No,” Dean says, all bravado. “You're not going to shoot anybody. See, I happen to be able to read people. Okay, you're a thief, fine, but you're not-”

“Dean,” Cas warns, because he can feel that Bela is about to pull the trigger. He angles his body in front of Sam so the only clear shot goes into him. He'd rather take the shot than let Sam take it, even if he can heal Sam after. Bela shooting his brother isn't exactly going to be the start of a beautiful relationship for Dean.

Bela shoots and hits Cas square in the shoulder.

“Son of a-” Dean starts.

“Next one goes in Sammy,” Bela says, then her gaze shifts over to Cas. She barely glanced at him before, but now she's looking intently. “That bullet didn't faze you. What are you?”

Dean is incredulous. “What the hell is wrong with you? You don't just go around shooting people.”

“Relax, it's a shoulder hit, I can aim,” Bela says, eyes never leaving Cas.

It makes Cas feel warm that Dean cares he was shot. But this isn't the time to linger on the feeling. He has Bela to deal with. “I'm an angel.”

Bela's eyes go wide and she lowers the gun. “An angel? You're working with an angel and you didn't lead with that?”

Dean shrugs. “Didn't think it mattered.”

Bela is still gazing at Castiel with intensity. “Angels are the only thing demons are afraid of.”

That's not strictly speaking true, but Cas gets the sentiment. “I know about your deal.”

“How?” Bela demands.

“Crowley, he's king of-”

“I know who Crowley is.”

Cas weaves around Dean to stand in front of Bela. “He's willing to release you from your contract if you help us kill Lilith.”

“Kill Lilith?” Bela says with something close to a snort. “You think you can kill Lilith?”

“We have a weapon. We need someone to fix it. Crowley says that's you.”

“That's all I have to do?” Bela says, disbelief coating her voice.

It's what Crowley implied, but Cas doesn't know for sure. Crowley likes his loopholes. “I believe so.”

“You believe so or you know? They're very different things.”

“You'd have to speak to Crowley.”

Bela gets a determined look on her face. “Fine. Let's talk to him. I assume you have a way of contacting him?”

Cas looks over his shoulder at Sam and Dean. “We'll be back.” Then he grips Bela by the arm and flies them to Crowley's study.

Bela manages to keep her composure as they land, but her eyes are wide and her thoughts are racing. “I understand that can be disorienting the first time.”

“I'm fine,” Bela says in a clipped tone. She glances around the room, eyes lingering over the different artifacts. No doubt some of the things are worth quite a bit of money. Cas assumes she's clever enough not to steal from a demon, especially one whose going to release her from a contract. Even if she looks like she'd like to nab a few things.

“Ah, back again are we. You know I never caught your name.”

“Castiel.”

“And you brought Bela.”

“She wanted to speak to you.”

Bela strides over to the desk where Crowley is sitting and looks down at him, cool and imperious. “What exactly do I need to do to get out of my contract?”

Crowley waves a hand. “Whatever Cassie here needs you to do to beat Lilith. Once she's dead, your soul is free.”

“Once she's dead?” Bela repeats. “That's a suicide mission.”

“Good thing you're already slated to die then.”

Bela holds her ground, her and Crowley staring at each other for a long moment. “Fine,” Bela grits out. “What do I have to lose?”

“That's the spirit. Now get out of my house.”

Castiel moves over and grips Bela by the arm again and in an instant they are back in the cemetery. The boys have already destroyed the rabbit foot. Bela eyes the charred remains and sighs. “I'm out one point five million dollars and on the bad side of a fairly psychotic buyer.”

“Yeah, I don't feel bad. Sammy?” Dean says.

“Not even a little.”

Cas rests a hand on her shoulder. “If you are ever in danger from this 'psychotic buyer' pray to me and I will come to your aide.”

It's an offer mostly because they need her alive to help them, but also because he genuinely wants to help people. Usually not people who shot him, but then, Dean stabbed him the first time they met. Something on Bela's face softens just slightly for a second and she smiles and him. “I'm a big girl, I can handle myself, but I appreciate the sentiment.”

Cas can feel Dean's gaze on him. He glances over and sees Dean looking at the hand on Bela's shoulder. Cas lets it drop. “I can take you to Bobby's now. He's been working on the Colt.”

“Bobby Singer?” Bela says, sounding somewhat pleased. Then she frowns and holds up a hand. “I'll drive myself, thank you.”

“Yeah, uh, I'll give you directions.” Sam says. He walks Bela back to her car.

As soon as they are out of earshot, Dean turns to Cas. “So, ah, thanks, for having Sam's back back there.”

“He prayed to me and I came.” Cas wishes Dean knew it was that simple. He'll always come when they call.

“Yeah, well, who knows what those bastards would have done to him if you hadn't shown up.”

Castiel knows that Sam would have survived, because he already did. Unless he's already changed the timeline so much he could not. Time travel is a difficult thing. He's very glad Sam and Dean haven't asked about it. If so he'll tell them human minds cannot comprehend the physics behind it, which is true, but also he doesn't entirely understand it himself. “You had the rabbit's foot. You would have saved him.”

“Probably,” Dean says and he looks away from Cas, swallows. “But it's good to know someone else has his back.”

Cas feels something warm bloom in his chest. Dean is starting to trust him. “Of course. In my time Sam is like a brother to me.”

Dean nods his head jerkily. “Right. I gotta ask a favor, man.”

“Anything, Dean.”

Dean turns to him with blazing eyes, as intense as he's ever seen him. “This thing with Lilith goes sideways, I need you to keep an eye on Sam. Keep him safe after I'm gone.”

“Dean, it won't come to that.”

“But if it does.”

Cas steps closer and places a hand on Dean, on the same place his mark once rested. “Then I promise you I will look after Sam.”

He has no intentions of losing Dean, but he understands Dean's fear. And he'll naturally watch over Sam. Sam is his friend, his family.

“Thanks man,” Dean says. He slides away from Castiel's touch as Sam comes near. “Guess we'll meet you back at Bobby's?”

“Yes. Soon we'll have the Colt and Ruby should lead us to Lilith. This could all be over soon, Dean.”


	7. Sin City Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Bobby talk about Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this I decided Bobby and Cas is the friendship I never knew I needed. I mean, yeah, Cas is like a million years older than him, but Bobby can still be his dad too, right?

The thing about not needing to sleep is it leaves time for nothing but thinking. Cas has been spending his nights at Bobby's, not out of any necessity, but just because it's a place to go. He doesn't want to risk running into any of his own kind, and he likes Bobby. He also gets the sense that Bobby is lonely, though he'd never say anything.

Another thing about not sleeping is seeing how often Bobby doesn't sleep. He's an insomniac, and while Cas has offered to put him to sleep with his angelic powers, Bobby has adamantly declined. It's late now and Bobby is puttering around in the kitchen, making a sandwich. He slides a plate in front of Castiel with a PB&J. Most food tastes like molecules as he is now, but he appreciates the gesture.

“You can't sleep.”

“Thinking about the boys. You tell em about this whole vessel thing yet?”

He had told Bobby, if only because he needed someone to confide in. Also, he's learned it's a good idea to have someone aware of what's going on, in case you end up dead. Or with a case of amnesia, married to a woman under a name you picked off a website.

“No, it's a lot to take in at once. I wanted to spare them.”

Bobby takes a bite of his sandwich and gives him a keen look. Cas feels strangely like a misbehaving child under his gaze. “I will tell them eventually.”

“They deserve to know the truth.”

Cas picks up his own sandwich and bites to avoid answering. Chews. Swallows. It tastes like molecules. He remembers a time when it didn't. He remembers a time when telling his truth saved Dean, but ended his own life. And now he is back, hiding again. “Some truths are better kept secret.”

Bobby looks at him carefully. “This ain't about the Apocalypse.”

Cas sighs. “No.”

“This about you being sweet on Dean?”

Cas opens his mouth, closes it again. He can't think of a single thing to say. “I-how did-”

“I got eyes, son. I see how you look at him.”

Cas sinks down further into his chair. “He can't know. Not now. He wouldn't accept it.”

“Course he wouldn't, he's just met you,” Bobby says.

Cas feels that's rather ignoring the bigger problem. “I don't think that's the issue he'd have.”

“What, cause you're a guy? Aw, hell, I've known the boy since he was a kid. I reckon he's got a little sugar in his tank, even if he won't admit it. Never made any difference to me. He could do a lot worse than an angel.”

Cas feels a warm sense of relief flood him. Bobby doesn't care. Bobby accepts. That doesn't mean that Dean wants him back, but if he ever did, he'd want Bobby's approval. Cas knows how desperately he seeks the validation of a father figure.

(Sometimes he wonders how Heaven could ever believe John might be the righteous man, when it's so clear he wasn't righteous at all. But that is Sam and Dean's relationship to untangle and deal with as they feel best.)

“Thank you, Bobby.”

Bobby nods. “You just make sure you treat him right, or I'll find a way to kill an angel, ya hear?”

Cas smiles. “I hear. Oh, I should probably warn you, we're working with Bela Talbot. She's on the way to help fix the Colt.”

“Aw hell.”

///

It's near morning when Bela arrives, the sky beginning to gray with streaks of pink. Cas is the one who opens the door to let her in. He wonders how she beat the boys here, but then, they prefer to travel on back roads and Bela likely took the interstate. “You're here.”

Bobby comes up behind Cas. “Bela.”

“Bobby, it's been awhile.”

“Not long enough.”

Bela smiles. “There's that Singer charm I'm so fond of.”

Cas can't tell if she's being sarcastic or not. She brushes past him and strides inside. “Love what you've done to the place.”

That one was definitely sarcasm.

Bobby sighs and waves a hand. “Come on, I'll show you the Colt.”

///

“That isn't going to work.”

Bobby and Bela are sitting at the table, the Colt between them. It's been stripped apart and the two have been tinkering on it for awhile now. Cas has had to endure them arguing; Sam and Dean were lucky enough to crash and get some sleep, but angels don't need any.

“I know what I'm doing.”

A snort. “Clearly you don't, or you wouldn't have been sent me.”

Dean lumbers over clutching a cup of coffee to sit next to Cas on the couch, close enough that their knees touch. Cas has gotten somewhat better at personal space over the years, so he realizes this is a violation of his, but he doesn't mind. “How long they been going at it?”

“They've been bickering for hours,” Cas says. Not all of it was about how to fix the Colt—Bela also wanted to sell it, insisting that she could get them buyers after they killed Lilith. For a broker's fee, of course. Bobby hadn't been interested.

Dean glances over at them and leans in toward Cas. “So, you trust her? She shot you, man.”

“In my timeline you stabbed me on our first meeting.”

Dean's eyes go wide. “Uh, sorry?”

“You believed I was a demon,” Cas says. “Bobby also shot me.”

“Guess we all suck at first impressions.”

“Hey,” Sam calls from across the room.

“Hey, what's up?” Dean replies.

“Might've found some omens in Ohio. Dry lightning, barometric pressure drop.”

“That's thrilling.”

Sam sweeps past them toward Bobby and Bela, nicking Dean's coffee as he goes. “Plus, some guy blows his head off in a church and another goes postal in a hobby shop before the cops take him out. Might be demonic omens.”

“Yeah, or maybe he had a brother who took his stuff.”

Sam takes a swallow of coffee and pulls a face. “Dude, is that whiskey? It isn't even noon.”

“Did someone say whiskey?” Bela says. Sam hands her the cup of coffee. She wrinkles her nose.

“Well, I suppose beggars can't be choosers.”

“That was my coffee!”

“Weren't you idgits talking about demonic omens?” Bobby says, while Bela takes a gulp of coffee. Cas remembers why he likes Bobby so much. 

“It's our best lead since Lincoln,” Sam says.

“Where?” Dean says, but he's glaring at Bela.

“Elizabethville. It's a half dead factory town in the rust belt.”

“There's gotta be a demon or two in South Beach,” Dean says.

“Sorry, Hef, maybe next time,” Sam says and looks over at Bobby. “How's it going Bobby?”

“Slow.”

“Slow because he won't listen,” Bela adds.

Bobby cuts her a look. “The only thing it's good for now is seeing what makes it tick.”

“So, what makes it tick?” asks Sam.

Bela props her head in her hand. “Yes, Bobby, what does make it tick?”

The look Bobby gives them is withering.

“So if we wanna go check these omens in Ohio...” Dean starts, “you think you can have that thing ready by this afternoon?”

Sam chuckles, and Bobby gives Dean an incredulous look. “Well it won't kill demons by then, but I can promise it'll kill you.” He points at Dean and pretends to shoot.

“Come on, we're wasting daylight.” Dean heads toward the door, clapping Cas on the back as he heads out.

“See you, Bobby.”

“What am I, chopped liver?” Bela says.

“Bye Bela,” Sam calls.

“Hey,” Bobby says, stopping Sam and Dean before they can leave. “You boys run into anything, anything at all, you call me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter we have Cas and Dean talking, and also Cas talking to Bela about her demon deal. And we see if they fix the Colt.


	8. Sin City Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean talk, the boys use the Colt on a demon and we learn more about Bela's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thanks to everyone who left a comment or kudos. I appreciate every one of them. Just a warning, this chapter does mention Bela's past abuse. There is nothing explicit stated, only implied, but you can read between the lines and figure out she was sexually abused. None of the actual abuse is shown, or will ever be shown, but I figure I should give a warning anyway.

The boys have left to go take care of whatever in happening in Ohio, leaving Bobby, Bela and Cas behind. Only after a few minutes, Bela becomes frustrated and heads outside saying she needs some air. Cas means to let her go be alone, but Bobby jerks his head at him in a clear sign to follow her.

Cas steps out after her and finds her leaning against her own car, cigarette dangling between her teeth. She swears lightly when she sees him. “Don't suppose you have a light? It's a disgusting habit, I know, but I did think I'd be dead in a few years when I started.”

“No, I'm sorry.”

She shrugs lightly. “Didn't think an angel would smoke.”

“I'm quite sure the archangel Gabriel smokes, as well as abuses other substances.”

Her lips quirk up in a smile. “Does he now? That doesn't sound very holy.”

“Not all of us are.”

She turns her head and studies him. “So why are you helping the Winchesters? What's in it for you?”

Cas shoves his hands in his pockets and leans back beside her. “Sam and Dean are my family, my true family. I never had that while I was in Heaven.”

“Families are the thing we have to survive until we can break free. Guess it's the same here on earth as it is in heaven.”

Cas looks over her face, hears the the careful nonchalance of her voice. It's beginning to make sense now. Someone hurt her, someone in her family. “Can I ask you a question?”

Her body stiffens just slightly, almost unnoticeable had he not been looking for signs of discomfort. “You can ask; doesn't mean I'll answer.”

Cas pushes away from the car and moves to face her. From here he can peer down at her face, at her eyes. Green eyes, but not his favorite shade of green. Still, she reminds him of Dean, hiding behind layers of pretense and bravado, not wanting to show the vulnerability beneath. “Why did you make your deal? You must have been very young.”

Her face closes, shuts down. All emotion is gone from her eyes and her stare is icy and blank. “I was. Only fourteen. You know kids, they think ten years is forever.”

She forces a smile to her face, but it doesn't meet her eyes. “And I got bloody rich. That's all that really matters.”

Cas tilts his head while looking at her. “You didn't do it for greed. You were...scared.”

Bela's face twists wit fury. “Leave it, Castiel. Your kind never gave a damn before. All those nights I prayed for someone up there to come save me and none of you lifted a finger.”

She pushes past him, storming back toward Bobby's. Cas doesn't mean to read her thoughts, but they're so loud he can't help but hear them, as tangled and jumbled as they are. There's Bela as a young girl, crying in bed, praying to someone, anyone, to make it stop, a man at her door in the night, Bela pleading for him to leave her alone, hands pinning her down while she cries. All the memories jumbled together and incomplete, sharp, jagged things that cut into Castiel as he hears them.

Bela was just another victim that his side failed to save. She prayed for help and was ignored. And this is the Heaven he once believed in, he once fought for. And what is there to say? That he's sorry? It's too late for that. But Bela was a hurt child who took a way out, perhaps not the best way, but she had been young and afraid. That shouldn't be enough to send her to Hell. Heaven should have stepped in and saved her.

Heaven should have stepped in and saved so many.

///

Bobby is out back shooting targets when Bela finds him. He ignores her until she goes and stands in front of one of the targets. “Good way to get yourself killed.”

“But will it kill a demon?”

Bobby's arm drops to his side. “We'll figure it out.”

“You say we, but you're refusing my help.”

Bela crosses her arms and looks at Bobby. “I know I haven't always been the most trustworthy, but you can trust me to do what is in my own best interest. And that is killing Lilith. I have a deal I want out of. Killing her gets me out of it. So trust me, or don't trust me, but let me help you make the damn gun work.”

“...Alright.”

///

Of course, the demon Dean follows does some weird demon shit and traps him in her murder lair with her. Because his life can't ever be easy. It's his fault really—he should have memorized the words, shouldn't need a book to exorcise a demon. It's just another in the long list of ways he's fucked up.

“Lose something?” the demon taunts.

Dean chuckles, but it's without any humor. “All you demons have such smart mouths.”

“It's a gift.”

“Yeah well, let's see if you're smiling when I send your ass back to Hell.”

“Without your little exorcism book?” The demon smirks. “Go ahead.”

He tries, but he can't remember the words right. “Having a little trouble there, sport?”

He really dislikes this demon. He tries again, but it's not working. “Nice try, but I think you just ordered a pizza. Should have paid more attention in Latin class.”

“I don't know what you're smiling about,” Dean says, pointing to the devil's trap “You're not going anywhere.”

“And apparently, neither are you.”

He could wait for Sam; Sam probably has memorized the Latin and can exorcise this asshole. But there's no telling how long that'll take. There's a quicker way, and one that will scare the demon shitless. And honestly? He wants this bitch to squirm. “Yeah, but I got somebody coming for me and he doesn't need Latin.”

“Sam? He can do that?”

“Not Sam,” Dean says and closes his eyes. He isn't sure how to do this. Praying isn't something he normally does. He doesn't even know if it'll work. But it worked for Sam. “Well, let's give this a shot. I pray to Castiel to get his feathery ass down here.”

“An angel? You're calling an angel?” The demon sounds panicked.

“Damn right, sister.” Dean says. Except Cas hasn't shown up yet. “Cas, buddy, kinda in a situation here with a demon. Could use a hand.”

The demon laughs. “Aw, is he ignoring you? Poor Dean.”

“He'll be here.”

Dean only hopes it's true. If not, at least he still has Sam.

///

Cas hears Dean's prayer. Even after his formal prayer has stopped he feels the longing for him to come to him. Dean doesn't give him the details of the situation, and he can't be sure what's going on. More backup than just him may be required. So he goes to Bobby and Bela, who are outside discussing how to figure out whether the Colt works.

“I say summon a demon and shot it. Then we'll know.”

“You want to summon a demon? Have you lost your mind?”

“No, Bobby, I want you to summon a demon. I'll be a safe distance away.”

Cas approaches them and Bela turns to him. “Castiel, tell Bobby the best way-”

“There's no time for this. Dean is in trouble.” He places a hand on both of their shoulders and flies them away. He leaves them outside with instructions to check the perimeter and pops inside to where Dean is.

The demon is talking when he gets there. “-gets here first. What, you thought I was flying solo? You shouldn't underestimate, Dean. It'll be the death of you.”

The demon is in a devil trap, so there's little chance she could harm Dean. She has however trapped him in this basement with rubble. “Hello Dean.”

The demon shrinks back to the edge of the devil's trap. Cas wastes no time in exorcising her, barely sparing her a glance. The woman falls unconscious to the ground. Cas moves over to check her and finds her still alive. “She'll be fine when she wakes.”

Dean nods. “Didn't know if you were coming.”

“I'll always come when you call,” Cas says. He says it because it is true, but perhaps he says it with too much sincerity or intensity, because Dean looks away.

“Can uh, can you lift this?” Dean gestures to the pile of rubble blocking them in. “She wasn't alone. Gotta get out there and warn Sam.”

“I brought Bobby and Bela. They're outside. They're scouting for others.”

Dean relaxes minutely. “Right.”

He reaches out to grip Cas by the arm when he walks past him toward the rubble. “The demon chick, she ah, said me and Sam are famous with the demons. That true with the angels?”

Dean hasn't let go of his arm and Cas can feel his warmth, even through all the layers. It makes him want, in a way he has never wanted before Dean. “Yes.”

“You gonna tell me why? I know you haven't told us everything.”

Cas sighs and pulls his arm away from Dean. He goes and sits on the ground, his back to the wall. “I didn't want to tell you this to spare you pain, but you have a right to know.”

Dean stares at him for a second, then comes to sit next to him. He's close enough that their arms brush together. “Tell me what?”

“You and Sam are of more importance than just opening the seals. Angels have to have vessels, but unlike demons, we can't possess just anyone. There are bloodlines that stretch back to Cain and Abel.”

“Yeah, what poor bastard are you possessing?”

There's judgment in his tone, and Castiel understands. He did disrupt Jimmy Novak's life. His actions destroyed the Novak family and left Claire without a father. “Jimmy Novak. He was a good man. He's in Heaven now. This body is just me.”

“He died?”

“I've fought in many battles against many enemies. He didn't survive,” Cas says. “It's still one of the things I feel the most guilt over.”

Dean doesn't know how to respond to that, go in true Dean fashion he ignores it. “So, uh, me and Sam are part of these bloodlines then?”

“Yes. When Lucifer is let out of his cage, he'll need to find his true vessel.”

Dean closes his eyes and leans his head back against the wall. “Sam.”

“It's why Azazel wanted him. The reason for his powers. All of it was to prepare him to be the vessel of Lucifer.”

Dean lets out a shaky breath. “And what about me?”

“You're the Michael sword, the true vessel of Michael. Once Lucifer is released he'll find him and fight him.”

“So what, we gotta let some angels wear us to prom?”

Cas shakes his head. “No; you have a choice. Angels can't take a vessel without their consent.”

He reaches out and lays a hand on Dean's arm. “None of this matters if we stop Lilith now. We'll avert the Apocalypse from happening.”

“Yeah, right.” Dean still looks shaken, though he hides it well. “Hey, all of this? Don't tell Sammy. He doesn't need to know.”

He wants to protect him, Cas knows. It's the same reason he hadn't wanted to tell them. But the boys hiding things from each other never ends well. “Dean, hiding things from Sam usually ends poorly.”

Dean cuts him a look. Cas holds up his hands in surrender. “Of course, if that's what you want I'll oblige.”

“Why are you doing this anyway?” Dean asks.

“I told you, in the future we're like family.”

“Yeah, but you're an angel. Aren't they your family? Or isn't there some lady angel or something?”

That question hits a little too close to home. “God is what you would call an absent father. And no, there isn't a 'lady angel'.”

He could stop with that. Should stop with that. But the words keep spilling out of his mouth. “The truth is I fell in love with a human.”

“Oh,” Dean says, sounding interested. “So angels and humans, they can ah-” He makes an obscene gesture with his hands.

“Yes, they can. Most angels don't, do some of us do.” He would, of course, if Dean wanted. Not before, with Jimmy Novak sharing this body, when this body wasn't _his_ , he was only wearing it. But now it is his and he can do with it what he likes. And he would like, very much.

“So, this human, why aren't you trying to get back to her?”

Cas doesn't correct him on the pronoun. It doesn't really matter. “I've altered the timeline too much to return.”

“Oh, that's—maybe you can still find her now and start over.”

Cas looks over at Dean and considers it. “Yes, I think I can.”

///

It's the Father's idea to tag along, but Sam doesn't like it. Exposing a holy man to their line of work seems like it would cause some bad karma. Plus, the Father seems like a nice guy.

A nice guy whose eyes turn black.

Well, he didn't see that one coming.

Nor did see the bullet that nearly hits the Father, fired by Bobby. The Father flicks a wrist and tosses him away like it's nothing. He throws Sam unto the car and heads toward the house. Part of Sam wants to follow, but he needs to check on Bobby first. “Bobby, you alright? How did you know-”

“Go,” Bobby says, shoving the Colt at him.

Bela pops from around the corner. Figures she was hiding where it was safe. “I'm coming with you. I need to see if this thing works.”

Inside the house, Cas and Dean are emerging from the rubble that Cas has cleared. Dean is carrying the passed out girl. The Father sees her and snarls “What did you do to her?”

“Sent her back to Hell,” Dean says, then jerks his head, “Well, he did.”

The demon's eyes flick over to Castiel and widen. He goes pale. “You brought an angel.”

Sam and Bela bring up the rear and the demon is surrounded. He goes to smoke out.

“Stop him, we need to see if the Colt works” Bela shouts. Cas forces the demon to stop, grateful his powers are at their full strength.

Sam shoots him and his whole body seems to glow with electric sparks as he shakes and falls dead to the floor. It's cold, the way he does it without hesitation.

“It worked,” Bela says smugly. “I knew I could fix it. Let's go tell Bobby the good news.”

///

Sam is in the motel room shoving his things into his bag when Bela walks in. “Leaving so soon? I thought you'd want to celebrate. The Colt works. You killed a demon.”

She sounds happy, more happy than Sam has heard her before. It's a genuine sort of happiness, and it makes him feel sick. He turns to look at her with a stormy expression. “I also killed a person.”

“It's unfortunate, but we had to know the gun worked. Now we do and we can kill Lilith.”

Sam lets out something close to a laugh. “You're a cold bitch, you know that?”

Bela steps closer to him, expression hard. “I'm as cold as I have to be. You think we won't have to kill someone to kill Lilith? We have to shoot her vessel to kill her. I've made my peace with it. I'll kill as many people as it takes to get out of my contract.”

“You think that's going to keep you from going to Hell? Newsflash Bela, bad people still go to Hell and you're a pretty awful person.”

If Sam didn't know better, he'd say Bela looked scared. “Screw you, Sam.”

Bela slams the door on the way out. Sam almost feels guilty. Almost.

///

It's late when Bela prays to him. He'd just been watching over Sam and Dean as they slept in Bobby's living room. He knows that Dean finds this strange, or 'creepy' but he doesn't sleep and he wants to ensure their safety. They seem well enough, so he flies to the hotel in Sioux Falls.

The room is nicer than the sort Sam and Dean usually get, but not by much. Sioux Falls isn't exactly a tourist hot spot. The thick carpet is a dark brown and the walls a bland beige, the king size bed covered in a floral comforter. The whole thing seems below Bela's normal comfort level.

Bela is dressed in cream colored silk pajamas, her hair pulled back in a ponytail and her face free of makeup. It makes her look young—and she is young, only twenty-four. Too young for the worry radiating from her. She seems troubled. “You called to me.”

“How do I get into Heaven?”

Cas scrunches his face in confusion. “I don't understand. Once Lilith is dead your contract will be gone.”

Bela crosses her arms over her chest and sits on the edge of the bed. It makes her look small, more frail. “Bad people go to Hell.”

“Generally speaking.”

Bela lets out a wry chuckle. “How do they decide who gets into Heaven?”

“We don't decide. People do. In the end, your choices are weighed, good and bad.”

Tears sting at Bela's eyes. Castiel doesn't know what to do about that. Sam and Dean aren't exactly good at expressing emotions and isn't sure how to comfort her. He moves and sits next to Bela. “Without the contract you have plenty of time to make better choices. You can still reach Heaven.”

“Do you know what my contract was for? To kill my parents. How much does that weigh?”

“They were abusive?”

Bela laughs and swipes at her eyes. “They were, and there was no way out. So I made a deal.”

“One choice won't determine your fate.” Not that he believes it should—she was a child, in danger. She shouldn't be punished for trying to save herself.

“One choice? I've lied, I've stolen, I've been selfish and careless. I thought I was going to Hell anyway, so why did it matter? And now, if I'm still going there, then what's the point?”

Cas lays a hand on her arm. “The point is to stop Lilith from bringing the Apocalypse. Think of the lives you'll save. That will weigh in your favor.”

“Does it count if I'm only doing it to serve myself?”

Cas sighs and drops his hand back into his lap. “I don't know. But I do know if you do good long enough, you start to do it for its own sake. I've done terrible things myself, but I've always wanted to do what's right. I think as long as we keep trying to do the right thing, we'll end up where we belong.”

Bela looks over at him. “Do you really believe that?”

“I do.”

Bela flops back on the bed with a disgruntled sigh. “Does this mean I'll have to go live a normal life?”

“You could always continue to help Sam and Dean.”

Bela arches a brow. “Sorry, I'm not the one in love with one of them.”

“I'm not-”

“Please,” Bela says and rolls her eyes. “I happen to think you and Dean would make a lovely couple, by the way.”

She's teasing, Cas knows, but there's something serious underneath. He thinks Bela may just like him. Likely due to his bringing about the circumstances that lead to her getting out of her deal. But still, it's nice, having a camaraderie of sorts with someone who isn't Sam or Dean.

Bela reaches up and tugs him down to lay next to her. Cas allows himself to be pulled down. “You know you aren't what I imagined an angel to be like.”

“This isn't my true form.”

“That's not what I meant,” she says, and props herself up on an elbow. “You care; I didn't expect that.”

“We're supposed to care.”

Bela smiles. “So are we.”

“Humans are...exhausting. They spend much of their time pretending not to care about the things they care deeply for.”

Bela laughs a little. “That one's easy, Castiel. If you don't care, you can never get hurt.”

“But you do care. You just lie.”

Bela's smile fades. “Tell a lie enough and you believe it's true.” She rolls back over on her back and closes her eyes. “Like you hiding your feelings from Dean.”

“He isn't ready to know.”

“Sounds like you aren't ready to tell him,” Bela says. “You should, you know. In case this thing with Lilith goes wrong and you die horribly.”

“...Thank you for the advice.”

“Anytime.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter veers from the episode it's based on by a lot. I'm adding a whole subplot with Ruby, who finally makes a come back. And Bela helps work a case. Also Dean totally gets the wrong idea about who Cas is in love with. 
> 
> Oh yeah, and happy new years everybody. Let's hope 2021 is a better year.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think? Feel free to comment, but like always, no pressure.


End file.
